Perennial Questions

"When thinking about this first question "Who is writing the script of your life?" My first feeling is confusion. Immediately I think of free will vs. predetermination, fate and fortune but I do not think of a "who." There couldn't possibly be a who determining the outcome of my life. A "who" is a human and I would hope that something a bit more divine than a human would be involved. If anything, it is a "what" or even more likely it is not even a "thing" at all. I am more apt to believe that there is something far more spiritual than what any one, or many humans together could perceive and agree that some describable thing has its hand in all. I would rather it remain forever disagreeable. The script of my life seems to be written by the whims and contradictions of the ever colliding oppositions of the human realm. 

As for the question, "Who's to say what's right?" I cannot even begin to answer. When I think "what's right" I think of morality and when I think of morality I think of value systems and the beginning of social institutions. Everything is either "right" or "wrong" through comparison and not innately within whatever is being judged. Pre-Socratic thinker Heraclitus writes, "They would not know the name of justice, were it not for these things." I take this into mind when I consider the ideas of right and wrong and how they may have came to be and dug such deep roots into our language as humans in society. All things, even opposites, come from one another and it is difficult to decide who can say what is right or wrong when one who is able to speak can only say one thing at a time. As humans we have entered into societies, and in these days, ones with great economic and governmental influence. This requires rules and regulations for conduct but those are only on the basis of what we constructed. For one to be able to decide "meta" rules and regulations is nearly unfathomable for we did not create the universe, and could not possiblly comprehend all the details of its creation in order to make a single decision. Of course one can say another "greater" knows the details and can construct the regulations, but only through the mouth of a human can they communicate. The innerworkings of the human are far too much of an enigma to take such an utterance to be as pure as its origin may be. 

None of this is written is pessimism rather in unwavering belief and faith in another something that someone has never been able to capture with human words and ideas. 

What Do You Stand For?

   Have you ever thought about how many assumptions you make in a day? Rather yet, have you thought about which of those assumptions shape the way you live your life? It’s not really something we’re asked to think about on a daily, or even weekly basis, but for the next few minutes, I invite you to. You see, the life we are living is full of questions that matter, but what matters to one person won’t always matter to the person standing next to them. That being said, it is important for us to ask ourselves philosophical questions in order to know what the ground we stand on looks like. For the sake of this semester, I, along with my other classmates, will be looking into two perennial questions: 1) “Who is writing the script of my life?” and 2) “Who’s to say what’s right?” Now as you can see, these are no easy questions. In fact, many people dedicate their lives trying to find the answers and for the next few months (and maybe even a lifetime), I am dedicated to doing the same. Here is where the journey begins.

    As mentioned before, everyone has assumptions; some of which even impact the way we portray ourselves to people. There is no denying that what I assume to be true for the questions above are part of what make me who I am today. Even as a child, I had this strange, yet really neat relationship with my faith that my parents recognized at a young age. For as long as I can remember, I have believed that there is something bigger than myself and that that power lies in the fatherly hands of God. That being said, when thinking on who is writing the script of my life, it seems natural to say that it certainly is not in my own hands. There have been seasons of my life where I have tried with all my might to control certain circumstances and relationships, but over and over again, my plans fail. Based on this alone combined with the intricacies and beauties of human life, I have a hard time believing that God isn’t in control. Of course there are days, even months, where I struggle to loosen my grip on the pen and surrender it to Him, but that doesn’t mean He’s not there. So for the sake of this first question, I can wholeheartedly say that I assume my Father in Heaven has written out the life that lies before me.

    Moving on to the next question, I have to admit that I have a bit more trouble processing this one. While neither questions are cut nor dry, this one seems a bit more ambiguous to me and it appears that the world would agree. We live in a very interesting time where people are quick to shout out the gospel for inspiration, but are just as quick to turn a blind eye on what they do not agree with. Whether this is a reflection of our broken generation or humanness, I’m not quite sure, but I do think the Bible lays out a pretty straightforward path of what is right and wrong. While some could argue that the Bible was written in a time very different from our own, I do think its message is timeless, not to mention it is the only document I know to give a universal account of what is moral and what is not. That being said, I am looking forward to delving into these questions further over the next few months and in the end, it is my hope to have a stronger connection to who I am and what I stand for.

Living the Life He Has Written

When I hear the question, “Who is writing the script of my life,” I immediately think of God and I immediately think of an influencer in my life, Donald Miller. While they are not on the same playing field, my response to this question stems from these two. While God has more of a direct impact on the way I live my life and the choices I make, Donald Miller has been an inspiration and given me the tools, platform, and motivation to write a good story and ultimately make choices that lead to writing a good script for my life. While I truly believe God is writing the script for my life, I also believe that for this script to come to life and truly be heard, I must make a conscious decision to take hold of His words and His desires for my life and live them out. Donald Miller has written books and hosted conferences that allow me to unravel what God’s plan is for my life and challenged me to take action in living the life He has written for us. So, to ultimately answer this question, I am writing the script of my life that God has planned out for me and that is being influenced by the people that come into my life and challenge me to live a good story and share the script that God has written for me.

Stemming from this thought, I can begin to think deeper about, “Who’s to say what’s right?” This question is extremely difficult for me to answer and honestly I’m not sure there is any one person who can say what is right. I think “right” looks different for everyone. “Right” is what makes you feel good, what motivates you, what allows your light to shine, what glorifies God, what allows us to utilize our talents and strengths, what challenges us, that is what I think is right. Digging deeper into that thought, because everyone has different strengths, possesses different qualities, beliefs in different things, worships in different ways, and shines in different ways, I do not think that one person can tell us what is right. I think especially in this day an age, it is encouraged to be opinionated and express our thoughts which can sometimes be disruptive to society however, if there were not different opinions, what would it mean to live? If everyone was the same and followed the same guidelines, there would be no story or no uniqueness to our lives. Having opinions and having different “rights” is a good thing in my eyes. However, there are boundaries to this I think because in no way am I endorsing illegal activity to take place, but I believe that to live the greatest life you must make decisions that will better others while allowing you to grow at the same time. Growth looks different for everyone and what stimulates growth in each of us looks different.

            

A Man's Ambition

Though one man may live in the city, and another in the country side, neither is any further distant from both the vices and virtues of their own nature. In the parable How Much Land Does A Man Need   by Leo Tolstoy, this is something the main character Pakhom comes to find out. Out in the country, as a hard working farmer, Pakhom believes himself to be a man set apart from the foolishness of upper-class society. Listening to his wife and her sister quibble about the setting of their lives, he is sure that he is overall much better off, as is his wife, but still has one wish; a bit more land. Unfortunately for him, the Devil was lurking behind the stove and decides to give Pakhom all he wanted only to take it all away. 

I noticed the theme of ambition appear in the beginning paragraphs when Pakhom's wife mentions her weariness of such a nature, as she says, "yet you, on the other hand," to her sister, "with all your fine living, must either do a very large trade indeed or be ruined. You know the proverb: 'Loss is Gain's elder brother'"(pg. 1). In this moment Pakhom's wife expresses her distaste for a lifestyle that requires a betting of all one has for a gain that is quite dependent upon others. Such is the lifestyle of ambitious men, taking risks to leap from one level to the next, never-minding the pit below, either reaching their mark or falling to their demise. Pakhom's wife much prefers the certainty of earning what she works as she defends her lifestyle by saying,"The peasant's stomach may be thin, but it is long. That is to say, he may never be rich, yet he will always have enough" and, "It's like this with us. Though life may be hard, the land is at least our own, and we do not need to bow and scrape to anyone" (pg. 2). Ambitious men rely upon the word of other men and the state of their society which are both very fickle things indeed; Pakhom's wife is sure that earning your keep from your own land is a far better way to live. Finally she remarks that her sister is living in a town of scandal saying, "Today all may be well with you, but tomorrow the evil eye may look upon you, and your husband find himself tempted away by cards or wine or some light-of-love, and you and yours find yourselves ruined" (pg. 2). It is in this moment that both the Devil and Pakhom are most keenly attuned to the conversation. Pakhom speaks up and mentions his satisfaction with his life yet only wishes he had more land.

This last remark by Pakhom's wife is the most apparent line of foreshadowing for this tale, as she thinks that only the city life could ever tempt a man away from his family in search for more gain, as if the Devil only lurked in the city and did not pay a visit to each and every man of the earth.

When Pakhom claimed that more land would make a fearless and impenetrable man, that even the Devil could not get to him, such bragging and boasting persuaded the Devil to take interest, for only the Devil insights the vices of men. So from then on the Devil put everything directly in Pakhom's hands and he succeeded again and again in achieving wealth. In his final attempt to gain as much land as he needed, the Bashkirs allowed him to have as much land as he could walk on in a day. With all of his boosted pride and swollen ambition Pakhom could not just take what he needed to do well for himself and his family, he needed to take what would make him the most profitable man in the country. Only in the last minutes of Pakhom's life did he realize his relentless ambition wasn't going to make him the wealthiest man alive but instead was actually going to kill him.

Death By Restlessness

As human beings, we have a variety of needs and desires, some of which are more essential than others. The famous psychologist, Abraham Maslow, outlined these fundamental needs in a theory well known as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. This theory states that at the base of our existence we have physiological needs that include air, food, and water. When these needs fail to be met, the capacity for desire is nonexistent. After all, how can one desire things if they are dead? In Leo Tolstoy’s “How Much Land Does a Man Need?,” the reader will witness a young and ambitious peasant man named Pakhom as he confronts this question in a rather abrupt and unfortunate way.

            In this parable of universal human temptation, one can look at it through the lens of multiple perspectives, but for the sake of this post, the idea of restlessness will be explored. Similar to greed and the constant desire to want what someone else has, restlessness has lead today’s young and broken generation to seek approval from others through social media. As Erin mentioned, we are seeking validation through likes, favorites, and comments from people we hardly know. The more people that like our posts, the more powerful or beautiful we feel, all because of how we fair in comparison. But to take this one step further, one must ask themself why they feel the need to share their enhanced looking life in the first place. Does it stem from a desire to validate your life as being better than someone else’s or are you trying to convince yourself that the life you live actually is better? The latter seems true for our dissatisfied society who seems to be struggling with who they are, where they are, and what they currently have.

The unfortunate truth, though, is that this ugly cycle is nothing new. For years, people have grappled with feelings of discontentment. They have sought to fill a God-sized whole in their heart with materialistic things, just as Pakhom tries to do through acquiring land.

In regards to how this relates to Maslow’s theory, Pakhom has no problem fulfilling the first three essential needs. All of his physiological and safety needs are presumably met and we are told he is married to a woman whom which we can assume he feels a sense of love and belonging to. That being said, the next level of human desire on Maslow’s pyramid is esteem, in which lies the acceptance and value from others, as well as oneself. This is where Pakhom seems to fall short, leaving him incapable of reaching the highest human desire that is self-actualization. Thus, we watch Pakhom fall into a restless cycle of desire starting the moment he hears that the mistress in town is selling her land to his neighbors (Tolstoy, 4). Over and over again we watch Pakhom make deals with passersby (the peasant on pg. 6, the merchant on pg. 9), all because of his dissatisfaction with the land he already has. Ultimately, this growing “I should have more” attitude is what leads Pakhom to his unfortunate end. Had Pakhom been more content with who he was and what he had, his constant desire to acquire more land wouldn’t have lead to this death. You can call it greed or ambition, but at the end of the day, it all leads back to whether you love yourself or not.

Blinded by Comparison

" So the unwanting soul sees what's hidden, and the ever-wanting soul sees only what it wants." 

- Lao Tzu

In society today, due to social media and the amount of content available to the public, it is easy for individuals to compare their successes, failures, accomplishments, experiences, etc. with others. Taking a close look at the Generation Y group of individuals specifically, it seems to be a necessity to post everything we are doing to the public and even a step further, get validation through the comments and amount of likes or favorites our posts (lives) are getting. This sense of openness among our generation is unique and yields many positive things while also yielding some harmful habits such as constant comparison to others and the lives they are living. With all of this said, Leo Tolstoy's How Much Land Does a Man Need? illustrates how toxic a constant life of comparison and greed can become. Pakhom looses sight of all he has, simply because he looked to others and convinced himself he did not have enough and needed more. 

            Greed, being one of the deadly sins, can be destructive. Through the life of Pakhom and the decisions he continued to make, we see an evident example of this. From the beginning when we were introduced to Pakhom, he was presented as someone who had the feeling of jealousy of his older sister who seemed to “have it all together.” This was the first warning sign that while Pakhom may have had more intangibly, he was blinded by this jealousy and greed to be more and have more than what his sister had tangibly. This comparison and longing to live a life full of acres of land and money, led Pakhom to abandon his life for what seemed to be something better. The greed that consumed Pakhom began to give him motivation, but greed could only take him so far and as we see at the end of the story, while he won all the land, he began to loose him self and eventually lost his life. This is so powerful. The more we long for what other’s have and compare our lives to that of others, the more we loose ourselves and our ability to better our lives with what we have. This relates directly to the hierarchy of needs that are thought to give us a life fulfillment. The closer we get to self-actualization through meeting each of our basic needs, the happier we can become with who we are and the life we are living. Pakhom could not rest in his own strengths and treasures that his life held. He believed that the top of his hierarchy was land and wealth which ultimately led him to never be satisfied with what he had because he just wanted more.

            As Lao Tzu stated, “the ever-wanting soul sees only what it wants.” I think this truly captures all that Pakhom displayed through his greed and longing for more land. He was blinded to all that he had in his life because without money and a lot of land, in his eyes, he had nothing. Many times in life, it is easy to think we do not have as much as the person next to us and we long for more money, more recognition, more friends, more responsibilities, etc. when in reality, we can receive “more” simply by investing in the people, experiences, and strengths that we currently have and make the most of those. Reaching that point of self actualization will make it easier to keep our eyes on the things that matter and not blind us by the sin that is greed.

Reporting live from group 3

Our first group meeting today was a success! So excited to be apart of this team of wonderful women!